Posted by Hello I.M. Lisa | Posted in Facebook, quitting Facebook | Posted on 9:59 PM
Tonight is my last night on Facebook, maybe for now, maybe forever. There are a ton of reasons why I am quitting the social network where everyone I have ever known and their mama (and my mama too!) from every chapter of my life from elementary school onward is a part of and it's not because of some sort of futile political stance against big brother who is not only watching but also selling our souls and our email addresses to the highest bidder. And it's not because the movie Social Network, revealed the scary, albeit mostly fictional, beginnings of a company built on exclusivity against the uneducated riffraff. I already knew this was the protocol when I first signed up with the required .edu email to even get an account, way before Facebook opened itself up to the masses. It's not because I hate Mark Zuckerberg and what this company stands for, although I do have about as much disdain for him as one could have for someone who they've never met or seen in real life. I mean, I love nerds, but Mark, you make it so hard to love you.
These are all valid reasons and to some extent add to the impetus to quit. The truth is, I'm an FB addict. I have been for years. I wake up in the morning and check FB, I'm on my phone and I'm on FB. I'm on my computer all day supposedly writing a dissertation,and 10 minutes into "writing" and I'm on FB. Before I go to bed at night, I check FB. And how could I not be on Facebook when my friends have such interesting lives, advertise such great causes and great parties, have funny/sad/poignant/silly/baffling status updates or post such great pictures of their babies or their pets or themselves at parties, at clubs or traveling to different parts of the world? How could I get enough when Facebook tells me when to greet friends on their birthdays, or that so and so broke up with so and so because their profiles say they're "single" complete with a heart symbol, or that what's his name got married to that girl that I can't stand (ugh!) who is NOT my Facebook friend, or that what's her face has moved and is "now enjoying the big life in the big city" or that one girl from high school is still friends with that other girl in high school and isn't that nice? How can I not Facebook when I can email 30 people at a time, post pics of my fabulous life (at least that's what I want you to believe), tag you even if the picture is less than flattering, rage against the machine and the man via status updates and interface with hundreds of people without never really having to make any sort of real effort? How could I stop Facebooking when "to Facebook" has become a verb and has entered into our daily vernacular?
I guess, for me, that was the problem. I loved that Facebook allowed me to interact with people I haven't seen in years and stay in the loop, but in some ways Facebooking has become a proxy for actual human interaction. Let's be honest, being FB friends with someone is not really friendship; forging friendships and real connections shouldn't revolve around writing on someone's wall or hitting the "like" button on their status update. Somehow I have allowed myself to get caught up in all that.I have reduced my interactions with actual people to some remarks on a not-so-real wall. I have succumbed to Facebooking, rather than calling or seeing someone and telling them: "Happy birthday! I wish you all the best because you deserve it and I am happy to call you a friend."
I guess maybe I'm taking this a bit too seriously and that I should just consider Facebook as a fun way to stay in touch, because really that's all it is, right? But more and more, the media we interact with--- TV, the radio and the internet---organize around the desire to stay relevant via Facebook and more and more we too have organized ourselves around our Facebook persona to varying degrees. I tend to think that it is kinda that serious. Serious enough to commit social network suicide---a term which I did not invent, by the way, and refers to the act of deactivating one's FB account---and for a while disappear into the oblivion of the (more) real world.
I will miss Facebook. Actually let me be more precise: I will miss my friends on Facebook. If I never go back, I will probably never interact with many of them ever again. This makes me sad. Then again, perhaps it's okay that we have people in our lives that we knew once, long ago, and who we sometimes miss. That we've lost track of them doesn't make them any less important to us because we've become who we are through the experiences we've shared with them. Such is the ebb and flow of life and its ephemeral nature is what makes us feel the sadness and joys that makes life all the more beautiful. So I say goodbye to Facebook and my Facebook friends for now, and maybe, forever. If I never talk to you again, may you have an amazing life. Thank you for sharing yours with me. For those of you who I will continue to see and talk to, get angry, laugh, eat, dance and sing songs with, give advice to and seek advice from, say hello to on the phone or have coffee with---to those I will continue to interact with in the world after I disappear from the FB universe, expect, at least, a call from me on your birthday.
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