Lately I have noticed massive amounts of hair just falling away from my head. I attribute this to a shift in hormonal balance that I've been experiencing since my late 20s. At least that's what I tell myself despite having no real scientific basis for such an assumption. Honestly, I just think it's stress. Yes it's stressful out there, America, and if my hair don't fall out on its own, I will probably pull it all out myself.
Despite the stresses, the uncertainties, the (still) unfinished 2nd diss chapter, the not-so-secure job prospects, the hair loss and even the dark under-eye, insomnia-induced circles, there are still things that can make me smile ear to ear like a damned fool. This song, for example, by DJ Ztrip featuring Murs, just made me smile right now when it came up on my Pandora Quickmix. Lately, the musical love of my life seems to be churning out only the best craptastic hits---yes I am talking to you Black Eyed Peas! WTF?---but this silly ass song reminds me that there is still joy to be had in hip hop. Also reminds me to put some cereal on the grocery list too. Can't beat that.
Speaking of grocery list, cooking and baking makes me happy too. That I am able to cook for a fun is a privilege in it of itself, let along being able to do it for pleasure and for the people I love. Nothing like hot a hot meal you've made yourself on a cold day after a ton of grading and office hours. Like a damn blanket for the belly.
My students this quarter were pretty awesome too. They probably curse me out under their breath when I give them tough love and Cs, but teaching freshmen who are still excited and eager to learn is great. We've had some great laughs over the quarter and having this kind of rapport with them makes up for the fatigue from grading some of their pretty badly written essays. Not all of the fatigue, just a bit ,and sometimes that's enough to get through it all.
Top Chef Masters starts tonight. This is enough to make me jump up and down while chanting "Co-lic-chio! Co-lic-chio! Co-lic-chio!" Next to Anthony Bourdain, he is my favorite TV chef and he makes me smile and giggle like a gay with a bear predilection.
Watching my lil brother's progress in culinary school is quite exciting too. And to think I used to change the diaper of this soon-to-be chef! Now if we can only get him into Top Chef...!
And of course, AJ. Allow me, for a moment, this bit of sap and sentimentality: he is the person I've tried to imagine for myself, but could not completely picture nor comprehend on my own . This is because each day, he exceeds, in every which way, the limitations of my imagination. The best days are those which begin and end with him and I laughing in bed. Plus he has some pretty awesome/awful dance moves which make my sides split. For all this, I am thankful and want of nothing more.
That's enough for now. Back to paper grading, hair pulling and stressing. But knowing I have much to smile about does takes the banality out of the 'just getting by," and turns it into a life worth writing about.
hey lisa! Long time no see/talk..... i see you are doing well. I hope this year brings you lots of happiness and success. Hopefully we can hang out soon!