DivingBoard: Where my girls at?

Where my girls at?

Posted by Hello I.M. Lisa | Posted in AWESOME, sisterhood, women | Posted on 4:46 PM

Aaahhhh...It's been a hot minute since my last post and I'm glad to be back for some "me" blog time. Springtime in L.A. is in full swing and I feel blessed to be under this bright blue sky, donning sundresses and flip flops, getting tanner with every refreshing cocktail sip under the sun. These are indeed glorious days, and I am excited to spend them with my girls, my ride or die sisters, as we venture into and conquer the often cruel streets of L.A.la land and beyond. I've been thinking a lot about sisterhood lately---its possibilities and limitations, the successes and failures---in my dissertation and in teaching my class. The representations of women I've encountered in pop culture, film, television and, sometimes, in literature are problematic at best, and more often, quite disturbing. Of course, as other pop culture and gender (and race too, but that's another post) politics junkies attest, this is something that we already know about our cultural productions. Yes, it's a sexist world out there! Our images---used and abused to sell everything from clothing to beer and to promote songs and films---are reduced to these grossly flat representations. We have become the objects of the male gaze and fantasies, our bodies subject to violence, our personalities reduced to stereotypes and tropes. We are virgins and whores, nags and control freaks, bitches and hos, muses to men and their manic pixie dream girls. We are emotional hot messes and hate ourselves and our "friends" even more, we suck the life out of our happy-go-lucky husbands and boyfriends or we love 'em and leave 'em for other guys with more money. We have daddy issues. We are foils for male characters and get second billing in movies and for your amusement, we'll make out with our straight girlfriends in bars, because inevitably this is what drunk girls do. These images flood our t.v. and computer screens, they follow us to the movies and to check-out counters (no, I don't want to know how to make him scream with pleasure, Cosmopolitan) and they write songs about this kind of femininity and we sing them out loud while we're stuck in traffic because they are just so fucking catchy (yes, Rhianna, I'm chin checking you). Resistance is futile and it seems there is no escape.

But, this post is not really about the crapeteria that is pop culture. I'm not about to continue railing against the Real Housewives of Whereverthefuck, because well, like I said, I'm a junkie. I know the part I play within this consumer machine and have made my peace and find ways, in my own terms, to rage against it. What I really want to talk about are my girls, my sisters, my intellectual soul mates and drinking partners in crime. When I take the time to think about the beautiful, amazing women in my life, I feel truly lucky to be among women who defy the asinine symbols of femininity to which we have grown oh so accustomed, that many of us actually believe that this is who we are or have to become.

My girls are bad ass academics who question, critique and challenge the status quo through their work and in their daily lives. They are advocates of books, of critical thought and of traversing the roads less traveled in life. They are teachers of students, young and old, and certainly they teach me something new everyday. These women are mothers and caretakers and while they may love their children to death, they challenge and redefine the parameters of motherhood rather than let motherhood define them. My girls kiss other girls because they like it and not to fulfill some straight male fantasy. They can drink your ass under the table while wearing a cute dress and a gorgeous smile and will hold your hair and rub your back in the alley if you've had a little too much to drink. They fight for social justice, write poetry and sing really good (bad) karaoke. My girls and I can roll deep, 5 in a hotel room to be exact, and not once engage in a jealous cat fight. When you get a compliment from any of them, you know that it's sincere, but when a situation calls for a dose of reality, count on that too. These women can just as easily laugh out loud or spiral into neurosis, and that's okay because people are suppose to be complex and not these two-dimensional tropes in the service of moving along male-centered narratives. My girls are daughters and sisters, lovers and friends and bad ass broads who drink, sing, love, cry, work, get angry, play and write through life, all the while carving out new frontiers and ways of being. They inspire me everyday and I am a better woman for having them in my life.

So, here's to my girls! I dedicate this spring to you and hell, the summer too! You are as glorious as this amazing blue sky and I cannot wait for all our future adventures under the sun.